Naming the Enemy

30.  It is a big number.  It is one that I have almost achieved.  It is one that seems oddly humorous to me.  So many dread this number, but from my fishbowl it is nothing to cause extra bubbles.  In fact, it is something that I want to face with the determined set of my head, and scrutiny that I use when new things arise.  New things mean change.

Ah, change.  My nemesis.  Change, the thing I fought with all of my being for more years than I willingly admit.  It was the thing that would waltz into a situation glaring at me with that evil glint in its eye, its head lifted in victory knowing that its mere presence sent me into a virtual panic!  Most situations I could handle in stride, but change always seemed to ruin my world. 

You see, I thrive on lists, order, and all things planned.  The Container Store is one of my very most favorite places to go to unwind and destress because everything fits into a box there.  Even if more items are added to life, there will be some type of storage found to create a place in the norm, whatever the norm is after all.  So now, Change may invade situations in my life, but in the past year I have discovered that I am not as petrified of it as I once was.  Every single thing that defined my life changed in a two week period primarily by my own choice, and I muddled through with minimal breakdowns. 

I have discovered that my life is not like a box of chocolates, but like the Container Store.  Things will change, but if I walk around long enough I will eventually find the box, canister, folder, file, or cubby for the new thing in my life.  While I still do not have a grand fondness for change, when it infiltrates my life, I now can lift my head just a little, glaring back at it with a bit of determination knowing that I may not like what it has to offer, but that I will stand on the power of knowing that there is a container for this little present that change has left me.